Wednesday, February 17, 2010
So I have been informed that from the looks of the MRI that there is some "suspiciousness" in his T9 and T12 vertebrae. Most suspicious spots on an MRI are faint until the contrast hits it and then it shows up very bright, well not in our case. It was bright and then the contrast made it lighter. Weird. The Radiologist thinks that is something to keep a close eye on. The Oncologist is not worried about it now but says we may need to check up at first evaluation and maybe think about radiation if future scans show no progression. He said that the focus is the main tumor. If his body responds well to chemo we will see the improvements in his face first. His bone marrow aspirate shows small amounts of metastatic cells but only about 10% and he seemed to not be too concerned with those numbers. I feel like I am in a whirlwind. I feel so confused about "why" part of all of this. I know that there is a greater plan and that Spence is part of that but seriously, why DOES HE have to be a part of it? Why can't he just be a normal kid? Why can't our lives just be normal? I want to be able to fast forward to three years from now, all of this past us. Why has my life never been normal? Is there a such thing as normal? I am I being selfish for feeling this way? I have never been patient. I have always been understanding but never patient. Why do I have to be patient? Why can't I stop eating? Why do I have to be away from my babies? Why Spencer?
Posted by Gooches at 2:13 PM