Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Scream

It is seven in the morning. I have not yet gone to sleep from yesterday. I want to scream. Diarrhea all night long. All night long. His heart rate is still high, his electrolytes still low, his diarrhea still coming. I want to scream. Once again, he said, "this is the worst day of my whole life". His weight was back up last night but after all of this "outtake" I am afraid it will be back down. Make my baby better! {scream!}

9 comments:

  1. Sending lots of love and encouragement your way. I am at a loss for words. Please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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  2. My heart is breaking for you and I understand. I remember wanting to scream. I am crying with you today and pleading with God to answer your prayers. I also pray for strength to get you all through every minute.

    You are an amazing family!
    Amy (HopeKids)

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  3. Oh holly how I wish I could just make this all go away. My heart breaks a little more everyday! Just remember that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers, as well as countless others. I love you all so much, which is what makes this even harder!

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  4. Holl, I wish I could make this all go away! How frustrating it must be to watch your little boy go through this and not be able to do anything about it. There are so many people pulling for you guys, which I know doesn't make it go away, but at least you know that we all love you so much. You are a wonderful mother and Spence is so lucky to have you, especially at this time in his life. I love you so much!

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  5. You don't know me, but after reading your blog,I feel like we are family. I was sent this link on facebook by a friend. You and your family will be in my prayers. I have sat here and cried tears of pain, sadness, and gratitude. I thank you for sharing your intimate-most details of your experiences. This is a parent's worst fear and it is one that is always on the back of my mind.
    I pray that you will have the strength you need to endure this to the end. Angels are watching over you right now and your needs are known. God Bless you and your beautiful family!

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  6. Oh man that poor dude i wish i could help but i cant really, Spencer i just want you to know that we all love you i hope you feel better.

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  7. Holly I wish I could take this all away for you even if it was only for one second. I think about you guys everyday. I can understand your wanting to just scream and if you ever need to just let it out I am here for you. You can scream your heart out and I will just listen. I feel so blessed that we have become friends and your strength amazes me. You are one of the strongest people I know. Love you Holly! ~Angelise~

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  8. Holly,
    Have they checked him for C.diff? It is an intestinal infection that causes severe diarrhea. It is passed through hospitals very quickly. The immune suppressed are at really high risk of getting it. Kristoffer got it twice. It is very treatable with antibiotics. All they need to test for it is a stool sample. They may have already tested him for this but it doesn't hurt to ask. I hope this helps!!

    Audrie

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  9. Oh Holly!!! My heart is aching for you. I love you! I haven't seen you or spoke with you for so long and am now looking at your blog and just want to hug you! Your little Spence and you are amazing! You are quite a writer and I just want you to know that I am praying for your little guy and for you!

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