Monday, March 8, 2010


I may have already used this for the title of another post, and I will probably use it again, but this is the only way I can describe the feelings in my gut. Spencer was changing in to his pajamas this evening and then came into my room almost in tears. "Mom look at my huge bald spot" he said. Nate and I were trying not to freak out too much and Nate was trying to make him feel better by telling him that it was just smashed down, but there was a lot of scalp (he wouldn't let me take a picture of it). He started to cry. He could see the sadness in my eyes too. He went back to bed but came back into our room momentarily and asked if he could cuddle for two minutes. How could I say no to my sweet balding little boy. Through his sobbing I could hear him say "I don't want to be bald mom". "It's just hair baby, it will grow back, you have at least an hundred friends that are going to shave their heads with you, you will all look the same". "But I don't want to be bald". I gently ran my fingers through his hair, bad idea. It is just coming out so fast. Here is a picture of what I got from just "gently" running fingers. I kissed his face and sent him back to his bed. Minutes later he was asleep. All he needed was a mommy cuddle.


  1. How scary and confusing for him. He's always seemed so much older than 7. I have to keep reminding myself he is 7. Thats less than a year older than my oldest. Be brave Spencer! You have so much support and people who love you and are thinking of you everyday! Love ya Holly! My Grandpa is going to donate some money. I have sent Spencers information out everywhere!

  2. That's what the hat is for. :) Our 3 boys will all look like him, and Hope is trying to convince me to let her get shaved as well. Maybe he won't be so sad when he gets to shave his head with all his friends. More prayers for him, and for you. We love you.

  3. I found your blog through my cousins facebook and out of curiosity clicked the link. I want you to know how you have helped put things in my life into perspective. I have 3 children who have all dealt with more then average amounts of medical problems but nothing like what you are facing. I doubt I will ever complain about the long drives I make to Seattle Childrens again, they are only 2x a year and for nothing more invasive then blood work. Yesterday my youngest son, who is only a month older then Spence was home from school not feeling well, he heard the background music on the site, saw my tears and asked what was wrong. I pulled him onto my lap and together we looked at your pictures and talked about them. Then he looked at me and said "Mom, I bet that he hurts a lot more then I do." He was home because he has TMJ problems which gives him neck and ear pain easily fixed with motrin. I told him I am sure. Then he asked "when Spence shaves his head can I shave mine too so I can go to school and tell my friends why". I of course said yes. What you don't know is that he has a mohawk, one he has been growing for a very long time which he loves to have straightend so it looks almost like a shark fin. It currently stands about 7 inches high. It started after seeing the movie "Sharkboy and Lavagirl" Will you please let Spencer know that there is another shark loving boy here in Washington and his family who are sending you lots of prayers and love.,