Thursday, March 18, 2010
I am eating dinner, but I am not very hungry. I have this pit, this anxiousness in my stomach that will not go away. I am having another "why?" moment. The intense pain in his abdomen has not subsided, so they replaced his NG feeding tube with an NJ (nasojejunal) tube. Instead of going through his nose and into his stomach the tube goes through his nose directly to his intestines. Hopefully this will ease the pain. I do not mind being here where he can get all that he needs I just wanted so bad for him to be able to go to the Fundraiser on Saturday. Watching him suffer like this, hearing him call me in his Versed induced sleep, it tears me apart. I feel helpless as I sit here alone in the hospital for another day, while he cries in his sleep. Does he dream about his pain? Does he dream about heaven? Does he hurt? Is he scared? Why is he crying? Why is he calling my name? I am right here baby. I am always right here.
Posted by Gooches at 6:53 PM