Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I am sad today. I think a lot of it is because I am more than tired. Gavin has not been sleeping at all during the night and with the emotional exhaustion, my body and mind are screaming at me. I am going to be completely honest on this blog and I don't want to offend anyone. I know that other people still are living their lives and that their problems are real to them. I have a hard time reading everyone's status updates on Facebook. I see complaints about teething babies (i have one of those too on top of all of this), friends praying for Spring, or for the snow to go away, complaints about sore throats, hangnails and disappointments in the Bachelor. I wish these were my only problems, but instead of praying for Spring, I am praying for my son's life. Instead of hangnails and sore throats I am hoping that my son's excruciating headaches from his tumor, and his nightmares to go away. I wish that I could enjoy the Bachelor, and all of the shows we have tivoed but all I care about is spending every moment with my sweet boy. I don't want to invalidate any of your lives. I have left many status updates about So You Think You Can Dance, or my toilets being clean. I think I feel a resentment and not towards anyone in particular but just a general resentment that everyone else gets to continue on with their "normal" lives while I beg and plead for the comfort and longevity of my son's life. I wish a million wishes that I can just be back to normal. I don't want to readjust my life. I don't want to hate Facebook.
Posted by Gooches at 2:03 PM