Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Spencer's Talk

I have been "spring cleaning" and dejunking my house and I have come across a bunch of pictures of the kids that had been misplaced. I also happened to come across an old digital camera that I had randomly taken a few pictures on at Christmas time last year. I noticed in one of the pictures of Spencer that his smile was off. It was uneven. My thoughts before were that this tumor began in approximately December, and in this picture I can tell it was already causing some pressure on those nerves. {Sigh}. We have come along way but I miss that sweet boy with lots of crazy hair. Those are times and people that we will never go back to. We have all grown and become different people, stronger, wiser, more thankful. I would not trade our blessings in for anything, but my heart still aches when I look down this big mountain that we are slowly climbing.
On Sunday, our kids group, or Primary as we call it, put on a program for the first hour. The kids speak and sing and it is always an enjoyable, spiritual experience. This year was different. They asked Spencer to give a talk on "The healing powers of Jesus Christ through faith". Wow. Just the topic made me emotional. I asked Spencer the key point of his journey that he wanted to include. It was a hard talk to even write. Spence was getting emotional as he expressed his testimony of Christ to me, and he would get embarrassed not recognizing why he was feeling this way. I explained the feelings of peace and the Holy Ghost he was feeling. As Sunday rolled around he began to be nervous. The program began as cute as can be with the sweet kids singing their songs of Christ. Isabelle said her part perfectly from memory and then it was Spencer's turn. His soft, sweet, sick voice made things even more emotional but he had the congregation in tears. I was holding myself pretty well until he started truly bearing his testimony on his faith in the healing powers of Christ and he began to sob and he expressed himself. What an incredible kid. Once again I am thinking to myself, "how did I get picked to be his mom?" His voice was so quiet that most people were not able to hear his words but could feel his spirit and his faith. I had a few people ask for a copy so that they could understand completely what he said and made him so emotional. I decided I would post it here:

I would like to bear my testimony on the healing power of my Savior Jesus Christ and the power that faith gives me.As many of you know I was diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma, a cancerous tumor on February 2 of this year. I have had a very challenging year but have grown in my faith.I have a central line for setup for long term I.V.’s in my chest and I am unable to get it wet.When my mom told me that I was going to have to wait to get baptized until next year I started to cry.I wanted to become a member of the Church so very badly so I prayed and had the faith that I would be able to have it happen.My mom came up with a way to wrap me up very tightly around my line to keep it dry from any moisture.It ended up being one of the best days of my life.Changing my bandage around my central line is also very painful and uncomfortable and I have to have it done every week. Sometimes I forget to pray for comfort and that is when it hurts the most.Whenever I pray that it will not hurt it is much better than the other times.When I was first diagnosed I had to have radiation. Every one we know that has had radiation has had to get these small tattoos that mark precisely where to administer the lasers.I was so afraid of getting a tattoo so I said a prayer and begged Heavenly Father to make it so that I wouldn’t have to have one.The next day we went in to get fitted for everything they said, “oh wow, this is a first, we don’t think we will have to give you the tattoos”.My mom was amazed at my faith after I told her I knew that I wouldn’t have to get one because of my prayer.Before I started radiation they molded a mask that fits my face so that they lock it into the radiation table, so that I don’t move. It is kind of scary.One day I was feeling really sick and I threw up in my mask I was locked down and I couldn’t get out.The techs ran in there to get me out and I couldn’t stop crying.I was afraid to go back and get it done again because I was still feeling sick but I really needed the radiation to shrink my tumor.I said a prayer that I would never throw up again in my mask and of course I never did. A lot of people around the world and especially in this ward have fasted and prayed for my recovery.Because of your faith and the prayers and love of so many around us my tumor continues to shrink.I have a very rare form of rhabdo and the doctors did not know what to expect but the Lord continues to heal me.He has protected me from feeling so sick during chemo, he has healed me from some of the infections that I have had from the chemo.Sometimes our prayers are not answered in the way we want them to be.When I was really really sick in March and I wanted so badly to go to the fundraiser, I prayed and prayed and had blessings that I would get better, but I still was not able to go. Even though I was disappointed I knew that the Lord was protecting me.There was a reason that I was not able to go that only He knows.And I am thankful that he knows what is best for me.Even though I have suffered many pains and trials throughout the last seven months, I know that my Savior has felt every one of my pains and sadness and has suffered more than I have.I know that he can comfort me and heal me. I am thankful for the Priesthood powers on this earth and for a dad and grandpa’s and uncles, who are worthy to give me blessings whenever I need to feel better or feel comforted.I know that I can pray to my Heavenly Father to heal me.He heals me every day.My last evaluation said that the tumor had shrunk to half of its size and that it has pulled away from my skull.The doctors are amazed at my recovery, and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father and my Redeemer Jesus Christ for healing

I am so thankful for my son and for his faith and true testimony of his Savior Jesus Christ. He can truly heal. We have seen miracles.


  1. I am touched beyond words by your son's faith and strong testimony. It's another piece added to mine to know that we truly all do go through trials in this life for a reason....for our growth.......for our faith. Thank you so much for sharing his talk. I really needed that today. Please give him a hug from me. A stranger....but a sister in the gospel.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing that. You are an amazing mom. We think about you guys so much. Thank you for sharing all these experiences.

  3. Wow- That was amazing. I am so impressed with what a bright spiritual kid he is. I wish I could have seen that in person. You are an amazing family.

  4. I was raised Mormon, but choose not to go to church anymore; I understand how powerful your sons words are though. it gave me goosebumps the entire time. I'm glad he has God in his life and that he truly believes in him. You have a really adorable and loving son, but of course you already know that!

    Though I don't pray, I am spiritual and truthfully think of Spencer everyday and send out all the positive, happy healing vibes that I can!

  5. i don't know you or your child. i was given this link to read and so i did. i can't help but put myself in your shoes because i have two little boys that i love dearly. i can't imagine what your little boy and your family goes through on a daily basis. his sweet testimony just touched my heart. when children are so blessed to be so close to our heavenly father it is inspiring to us adults who really need to get our act together. you are truly blessed with a very special boy. i hope and pray the lord will continue to bless your little boy and give your family strength to get through this. thank you for sharing this and teaching me a lesson about the gospel and the love of christ.

  6. Holly your son truly is amazing. I think about you all and read every post. I miss seeing you and hearing your laughter and seeing Super Spence. I still think of him as a member of the "Incredibles" since he loved the movie so much. It's true though. He is one part of an incredible family. I love you and pray for you.

  7. Precious! That is so sweet! I bet there was not a dry eye in the room! We continue to pray for his recovery! Hang in there. You guys can do this!

  8. wow....i am truly amazed and in awe of such tender words and faith that your sweet spencer has expressed.

    it is said that through another our prayers are answered and that our individual faith can grow, i truly feel i have received an increase in my faith from his words.

    thank you for sharing them.

    our prayers are with you always!

  9. Great Talk. I love reading the posts on this blog.

    Having read your blog since the beginning, it helped me get thru a time at Primary's with my 3 year old. You all have remained so positive, and that is what I have/had tried to do throughout our whole experience there. SuperSpence (and your family) is inspiring. Faith is important. We knew we used Faith as her middle name for a reason :)

  10. What an amazing testimony! I was reading it to my 8 year old son and couldn't help but bawl my eyes out. Thank you so much for sharing this. Holly you are an amazing woman-who I can learn alot from. I hope and pray that Spencer can go home soon.

  11. What an amazing testimony! I was reading it to my 8 year old son and couldn't help but bawl my eyes out. Thank you so much for sharing this. Holly you are an amazing woman-who I can learn alot from. I hope and pray that Spencer can go home soon.

  12. Hola Holly y Nathan , Con realmente emocionada Estoy Las Palabras publicadas de Spencer Que Me ha emocionado Hasta las Lágrimas y que Sentido espiritu El es tan bonitas llave y en la Leccion Gran de fe Que nep està Dando el.
    Es Que Un Niño cáncer de padece la ONU, Y Nos this Enseñando una Confiar en Nuestro celestial Padre , un no Dúdar Nunca Por màs Pruebas dificiles Que Ponga en Nuestro camino .
    Realmente Se Que Spencer es tan especial vosotros y Que sois UNOS Muy Padres buenos . Son Una Familia de Ejemplo un Seguir Por amarse Tanto Juntos Luchar y .
    Hermanos quiero Que Sepan Que tambièn pido una Nuestro Padre cuerda Que celestial y Que ESE desaparezca el cáncer maldito .
    Con La Distancia Sepan we Que les quiero , conoci una mision Su Nathan es de Uruguay y Estoy Muy Feliz Por La Familia Que ha Creado , UNA EL EN Muy persona Buena y he aquí demostro mision Su es ayudando un Mi Familia .
    Desde España Tienen Todo mi Apoyo y Desde Uruguay El de Mi Familia . La familia Reino ora Por we . Un abrazo y Sigan dandonos Ejemplo Cada Día fè Vuestra de .