I remember bringing Spencer home from the hospital when he was first born. I would lay on the couch while he slept in his car seat and I would watch him sleep all night. I did not want to miss one breath of this brand new amazement that was mine. (24 days short of) eight years later I feel the same way. I cannot take my eyes off of this miracle, this amazement of mine. He has proven to be so incredible in so many ways in the short eight years of his life. I do not want to miss one breath. Each one is a blessing.
We are lucky to be here to get such great care. My blessing today is chemo. I know that is so oxymoronical but every chemo done is one closer to the end of treatment. Every chemo done is just more weapon for the fight. I am sad because we are stuck on the third floor again, the ICS overflow, away from our comfort zone. The nurses are the same which makes things a little better. There is no parent laundry/kitchen room, no flat screen, and no XBox 360. Those things may seem a shallow reason to want to be on the true ICS unit but it means so much to a little boy who feels "stuck" here. His weight is up, thanks to our continuous feeds, and the nutritionist was impressed with our "Gatorade feeds" to keep him hydrated. He has had his Vincristine and is now getting the Cytoxan, two of which we have previously had. After the Cytoxan will be the Doxorubicin which is new for us. Chemo makes me nervous. As much as I am thankful for its "powers" I get really anxious before and after it is administered for the first time in a session. He is asleep now, due to his anti-emetics and will most likely be for the remainder of our stay here. I already miss his conversation. We had an enjoyable day talking and texting! I was watching a movie on my laptop while he was playing with his iPod Touch and I got a text that said, "I love you mommy". Oh how my heart melts for this kid. I am so lucky to be his mom. I am so lucky to have three beautiful children.