Monday, March 7, 2011

Press Forward?

Trying to blog and the words are not flowing. I am starting to feel more normal. Spencer is back at school full time, piano lessons are started back up and life has not been so hectic. I am able to stay home during the day without frantically running from appointment to appointment. In fact I have "missed" my chiropractic appointment TWO times! I just totally forgot about it. It is kind of nice to stay in my comfy clothes all day and not have to do my makeup because I am not going out. I wear hats and sunglasses to drop off and pick up the kids from school, just in case anyone "sees" me. I decided to stay off Facebook for two weeks. I am so addicted to the computer that I just do not get things done. It is pretty pathetic. Today was my first day and I did pretty well. I just kept thinking to myself that no body needs to get a hold of me this week. I am trying to tell myself it is like when I am on vacation and I am not around. It is actually kind of fun to stay in my little bubble, at home and get things done. I still have my cell phone so there is some communication with the outside world but life will still go on without FB and emails. I got everything and then some done that I needed to get done. I feel accomplished. I feel in control. So far no withdrawals, no shakes or headaches. LOL. Spencer is doing really well in school. I tested him on his new set of spelling words for the week and he only missed three. We always start out by testing him on the words the first day and then making him write out the words he missed 10-15 times. Then on day two i retest him on his words and repeat the same exercises from the day before. On day four I have him write them out again and then we begin spelling them out loud. On the morning of the test I have him spell them out loud again on the way to school. I think he gets about 25 words but is only tested on 10 of them. It has been kind of fun for us. He is starting multiplication and I have been so impressed on how well his is doing. His hair is really starting to come in now. It is definitely more than a five o'clock shadow. His taste is starting to come back completely. Tomato sauce used to bother him. The acidity tasted like metal to him. Just a side effect from the chemos he was taking. He is now enjoy his favorite food, pizza, again. We prayed so long and hard for these normal days to come to us and now that they are here I feel a little melancholy. I WOULD NOT FOR THE WORLD GO BACK TO CANCER OR ABNORMALITY, but I miss the everyday miracles that we have been experiencing in our lives. Pretty soon his hair will grow back in and he will just be a tall, skinny kid to those who do not know him. No body will know where he came from and how long and hard he walked to get to where he is now. No special treatment, no leniency, just a normal boy. Some day people he comes in contact may never know this war he fought. Battle scars never go away on a moms heart. I hope that for him they do, however, I hope he never forgets the faith and power that healed him. I hope he never takes for granted the life he has been given. The ending is just all so surreal. Who knew that it would be this hard to leave it all behind. Press forward, always thanking God.


  1. Ditto to everything you said. Enjoy the normal life, you won't forget the good things that came from this journey. It's okay to miss that part.

  2. For once I didn't think I would cry! Then I got closer to the end:) Love you Holly!!!

  3. Great idea - you deserve a good vacation! The world will have to wait :) So glad to hear how well he is doing in school - and no matter how 'normal' he appears, he will always be 'Super Spencer'. He is one amazing kid!