Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I don't know why I decided I was strong enough to read some of my older posts. I don't know why I have let myself push these memories down, down down. I don't know why my soul aches. I don't know why other moms have to go through this. I don't know why. It seems like another life time ago but the wounds are still a little raw. Healing scabs being pulled off, creating scars. Scars are meant to help us remember. Why don't I want to remember. Why is this part as painful as the injury? Things, life, seems so normal now but moments of anxiety ache in my heart. Don't forget who you are and where you came from. Do not forget the obstacles and the road blocks, they are meant to create a stronger person of who you once were. I had memories tonight of spending what seemed like endless nights in a hospital room. Cold, lonely, and scared. I am thankful for warmth and faith and love. Did we really live this other life? This other life filled with pain and agony, growth and strength? Did we really live out of suitcases and hospital cafeterias for over a year? Did I really have to leave my children to save the life of the other? Are these real things that happened to us? I desperately pray that I never have to live this other life again. My heart cries for the mothers who are living it now. Miracles happen. Death happens. Love happens. Faith happens. Life happens. God lives. He holds our hand, He carries us through the storm and through the calm. Never forget these things.
Posted by Gooches at 11:54 PM