You know how you feel when you are sitting there with your two year old holding them down as they give you the look of terror as the nurse gives them their immunizations? You know that you are doing the best for them but you want to cry because of their fear. Now times that feeling by about 10,000 and you may begin to sense the anxiety of watching your baby boy waiting in agony to have a chemotherapy port placed underneath the skin in the subclavian vein. Last night was sleepless. I wish that I would have waited until this morning to explain the procedure to him. Tossing, turning, wincing, headaches from anxiety. We know life is not fair but why does it have to be heart wrenching? So many times my kids say "but that's not fair" and I respond with the typical "life isn't fair". Not once has Spencer said "mom this isn't fair" but last night as I tried to comfort him he said "I am so afraid of all I have to go through". Oh my son, if you only knew the agony, the "heart wrenching" pain your dad and I are feeling for you. If you only knew.
I wish that I could do this for Spencer. It's scary enought as an adult, when you know they why's and how's, but I can only imagine what Spencer must be feeling and thinking. He is such a good and strong little boy. I pray that his body will be strong and fight this thing. Good luck. I will be keeping a prayer in my heart for you guys all day. We love you Spencer.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Mike, Danielle, Parker and Drew McClement
Spencer Gooch, you really are a super hero. We love you with all of our hearts. Be brave little man.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, big guy.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me at all but I'm Lindsey Helms cousin Amber. I've been following your blog daily since I heard the news. My family and I have put your sweet little boys name in the temple. We are all praying for you and hope you can feel comfort and peace.
ReplyDeleteMay God be with you all through this trying time.
Love,
Amber, Brad, Rochelle, Spencer,Kaitlyn, Terrell,and Chris Williams.
Oh Holly I'm just a crying right now thinking of all you guys are dealing with..."the heart wrenching" you are doing over your little guy.
ReplyDeleteHe is in our prayers. Thanks for keeping this so updated. Hang in there.
I am praying for you spence! Let us know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to imagine your pain. I hope I can learn this lesson through you. Can you even imagine what Heavenly Father felt as he let us all go and as he sees us get hurt or in pain. Now times that by billions and trillions. At least he knew he'd see us again. We know that too. It sometimes makes life's hard times make more sense. I look up to you Holly! I am praying like crazy for Spencer and your family. Love, Allison
ReplyDeleteMy precious Spencer, you are the bravest boy, someone told me once that it isn't really bravery if you aren't scared. I love you my most brave and honorable hero!!! Neina
ReplyDeletePoor thing! Both of you.
ReplyDeleteI think it's actually harder watching your child go through it going through it yourself. Hang in there!
Holly-I just wanted toy let you know that I've been thinking about you. My heart breaks as I read your updates and imagine all you are going through. What a lucky boy Spencer is to have such support while going through this hardest time in his life. Both from you, your husband, all your friends and family, and especially, his Father in Heaven, whom he is obviously close to!!
ReplyDeletePoor Guy, we love you Spencer! Holly, you two are amazing parents.
ReplyDeleteWe love you all!