Sunday, December 12, 2010

“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.” ~Francis Bacon, Sr.

I love to people watch. The psychology of social behavior intrigues me and it also gives me the opportunity to be introspective to my own behavior towards others. I had to make a stop to the grocery store to pick up a few items and witness a couple of different families and their interactions with one another. As I was walking in to the store there was a family a lot like mine. They had three children about the same ages as my children and my guess is that they had been married, or atleast had been together for close to 10 years. It was raining outside and the dad was holding the youngest. The child was whining because it was cold and the dad was reprimanding him, the mom turns her head sharply and with a nasty look says to her husband, "he is only two." She said it again and the second time with more contempt. He just rolled his eyes and they continued to walk into the store. I thought to myself, how many times has this kind of scenario happened in my family and I hope that I was never that mean, although I know there have been times that I was. I also thought about how I tell my children all day long to be kind to one another, no matter what is going on. We don't have to belittle one another and speak meanly to one another. We can always use calm, pleasant voices no matter the situation. I saw a couple of quotes on Facebook this week that were appropriate for this subject. The first one says "If we cannot be clever, we can always be kind." ~Alfred Fripps How true this is. I am always so impressed by strangers who are kind, and I try to do the same, however, I think the real test is being kind, ALWAYS, to your family. I thought the husband could have snuggled his two year old closely so that he felt warm and comforted, and the wife, she could have nicely turned to her husband and said "its okay babe, he is only two, he is cold". The situation could have continued differently. The animosity that the couple displayed for one another could have been non existent and their marriage could have become strengthened. How many times have situations like this happened in our own marriages. Especially for some of us who have been together for ten years, plus? Why do we do this? Why do we do this to the people we love the most and want to spend forever with? On the other hand there was a newlywed couple, no children, who were shopping together, holding hands, deciding on what they were going to make together for dinner. They were so loving, and kind to one another. You could see the love in their eyes and feel the love just by being in the same aisle with them. We have all been there. Do you remember those days? The courting days, the newly married days, no children, just you and your love content with being poor and living on love. Kissing was often, butterflies in your heart every time you saw them or spoke to them on the phone. Just recently I thought to myself how much I miss those days, but then I decided, those days to not need to be missed, they do not need to be in the past. At this point living ten years with bad habits, being enriched a thousand fold for each addition of a new child in our family, growing in knowledge and experience together in a marriage should only make for a stronger bond. I decided, that I wanted to feel the butterflies still and smile when I get a text, an email or a phone call. This is my purpose in this life. I not only wanted to be a wife and mother I wanted to be Nate's wife, and the mother of his children. At this stage in life best friends don't come and go, they are permanent. He is my best friend and I am trying my very best to show him that he is and always will be. Last night we were able to celebrate our TEN YEAR anniversary. Ten years of marriage. We have been through school, child birth, frustrations, cancer, financial struggles, family divorce, family marriages, etc, etc. So many life experiences to make our bond stronger. I love him infinitely more than I did the day I married him and am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for sending him to me. He is an incredible man and I only hope to continue to be more kind and more loving to him as life happens and time goes on. Be the happy couple, forever grateful for one another. Be the stranger who smiles continually, brightening others lives. Be thankful for your life and make it as wonderful as you can. This life is but a little time, make the best of it.


  1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post Holly!!! Now all I need is a husband :-p

  2. Thank you SO much for this reminder. How important it is.