Super Cool Story

I love to refinish furniture. My garage is full of "projects" presently. I was looking on a local classifieds site for a headboard for Isabelle. Last week as I was searching I found one that I liked and I texted the girl to ask if it was still available. She responded back that it was and I told her I was interested and would try to pick it up early this week. I forgot about it and about my busy schedule this week. She texted me this morning asking if I was still interested. I told her that I had an 8 year old son with cancer and that we had testing and chemo and I just did not think I would be able to get it in a short enough time period and told her to go ahead and sell it to someone else. I had a playdate with some friends today and I got a phone call from a number I did not recognize. I did not answer it and did not realize that there was a message. I found it a few hours later. It was the girl selling the headboard. Her message said that her son had had cancer and she wanted to give me the headboard, no charge, and she would keep as long as I needed her to hold it. I called her back and she asked me what type of cancer Spencer has. I told her. Before I could finish saying Rhabdomyosarcoma she was like "no way! my son had rhabdo too". Rhabdo is rare and so this was amazing to hear. I went on about Spence, mentioning him by name and she said "wait, your son is named Spencer? My son is named Spencer." Seriously people. What are the odds that we both have Spencer's who have had Rhabdo. She said another family whose son had Rhabdo had given her the headboard and she felt like she needed to pay it forward to us. Seriously crazy! You know sometimes Heavenly Father allows us to go through horrific times in our lives but he always lightens it up with some act of kindness, crazy connection, or fun coincidences. Her Spencer had Rhabdo when he was two and three and is now nine years old. Healthy and strong. I love this crazy train called life.

Be Still

My last post was on my husbands friend who passed away early Thursday morning. He had the highly contagious Influenza A and it quickly took him from his sweet wife of ten years and his three and five year old sons. What a horrible beginning to the holiday season. Thankfully, for the hearts of the family, they have a firm belief in God and I am sure will be filled with overflowing peace. One of my first posts ever, almost a year ago I blogged the words to the hymn "Be Still My Soul". The lyrics, and the music has helped me through some of the toughest times and I am hope they can give comfort to this poor family in their grief. Here is there blog: http://teachingtuckandty.blogspot.com/

The music playing is to this hymn.

Be Still, My Soul:

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897

LIfe.

Life is so short. We have no idea what it will bring to us on a second to second basis. Live your life in happiness, in gratitude and in service to the Lord. Nate is a loyal friend. He has a lot of really good friends and he treats them like gold. It is a good thing to have Nate as your friend. This morning he called me in tears. I started to freak out a little. Then he said that his good buddy, a work friend that he has talked about for years, a friend he spent all last week with during a business trip, had passed away this morning. My heart dropped into my stomach. He had been having some breathing problems, the doctors thought maybe sleep apnea and this morning his wife was not able to revive him. Two days before Christmas. He has two little boys. These are moments that you sit and think "Why Heavenly Father? Why?" It brings a deep sadness into your soul. It makes me thankful for the moments I have with my family, with Spencer. It makes me thankful to be able to appreciate the precious time I have with Spence, knowing that his life has been hanging in the balance. It would be devastating to have a child, a spouse, family die so quickly, without time to say goodbye, without time to say I love you. We are all human. We make mistakes. We get angry, we yell at our loved ones. We go to bed, to work, to school mad. What if we never had the chance to say "I am sorry" or "I love you" again. How devastating. Those little boys are so young they most likely will not remember their daddy the way they should. Life is so short. Please, please, please, be thankful for every moment, every relationship, every ounce of love you are able to feel in this life. We are so very lucky to have these things in our lives. Who cares if your husband forgot to take out the overflowing trash, or that your wife didn't hang up her towels, or that your kids didn't make their beds. Be anxious for the time they walk into the door and you can snuggle, rub footsies, give Eskimo kisses and say "i love you sooooo much". Please keep your prayers with the Williford family this Christmas holiday.

Silent. Holy.

There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus the Christ.” - Thomas S. Monson

There is not another song that stirs so much emotion, and so much peace, than this one, for me. The words give me chills. My heart is filled with Christmas, true, raw Christmas. Being a mother myself, I imagine a young girl, a virgin nonetheless, delivering her child, the son of God, laying him in a troph. How lucky we are to take a moment to recreate that miraculous birth. Silent night. Holy night.

Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright round yon virgin, mother and child. Holy infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace. Silent night, holy night! Shepherds quake at the sight. Glories stream from heaven afar. Heavenly hosts sing ALLELUIA, Christ the Savior is born. Christ the Savior is born. Silent night, holy night. Son of God, Love's pure light. Radiant beams from thy holy face, with the dawn of reedeming grace. Jesus, Lord at thy birth. Jesus, Lord, at thy birth.

Peach Fuzz

I was rubbing Spencer's soft bald head today and I felt some prickly spots. I looked at his eyes and noticed that his cute eyelashes are growing back. They are stubby but there and his eyebrows are fuzzy. It occured to me that if these last chemos had not stopped his hair growth then his hair is most likely back on track to normal growth. That is so cool but it makes me a little nervous. I am so afraid that things will start to go back to normal and then we will back track but I just need to be thankful for normality and recovery. I need to have faith. It will be so great to have a little boy with awesome hair!

I Have Not Forgotten You

My computer is undergoing refurbishing and I cannot post pictures. I have tons to post and am hoping to work on it. I am still here. Still busy. Still full of thoughts! I will hopefully be back up and running very shortly!

CALLING ALL BLANKETS!

I am trying to collect the blankets so that I can get them delivered on Christmas, especially the fleece ones. If you have fleece blankets let me know so I can set up a time to pick them up or meet you somewhere! If you have quilts I would like those as soon as possible but it is not urgent, we can continually deliver those to the hospital. Also if you have supplies for me contact me for pick up or drop off! You guys are so wonderful and will receive so many blessings for helping these sweet little kids out. A soft fuzzy blanket and a warm quilt brings smiles to these cute little bald kids faces. They are unforgettable! Email me: goochymomma@gmail.com

La Eternidad

Seven years of school (and more coming), three children, 2 apartments, 3 homes, family death, family marriage, lots of tears, lots of laughter, cancer, illness, health and strength, financial roller coasters, many jobs, weight gain, weight loss, etc, etc. and here we are TEN YEARS LATER! I knew many years ago when Nate told me he loved me for the first time that he would be my eternal companion. We have forged many battles and have fought hard to be here today. I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with a man who works hard for his family, honors God 5, and loves his children. 43% of marriages end by year 10 and I feel so thankful to have pushed past the statistics. I cannot wait to be the 5% of marriages that last 50 years.

“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.” ~Francis Bacon, Sr.

I love to people watch. The psychology of social behavior intrigues me and it also gives me the opportunity to be introspective to my own behavior towards others. I had to make a stop to the grocery store to pick up a few items and witness a couple of different families and their interactions with one another. As I was walking in to the store there was a family a lot like mine. They had three children about the same ages as my children and my guess is that they had been married, or atleast had been together for close to 10 years. It was raining outside and the dad was holding the youngest. The child was whining because it was cold and the dad was reprimanding him, the mom turns her head sharply and with a nasty look says to her husband, "he is only two." She said it again and the second time with more contempt. He just rolled his eyes and they continued to walk into the store. I thought to myself, how many times has this kind of scenario happened in my family and I hope that I was never that mean, although I know there have been times that I was. I also thought about how I tell my children all day long to be kind to one another, no matter what is going on. We don't have to belittle one another and speak meanly to one another. We can always use calm, pleasant voices no matter the situation. I saw a couple of quotes on Facebook this week that were appropriate for this subject. The first one says "If we cannot be clever, we can always be kind." ~Alfred Fripps How true this is. I am always so impressed by strangers who are kind, and I try to do the same, however, I think the real test is being kind, ALWAYS, to your family. I thought the husband could have snuggled his two year old closely so that he felt warm and comforted, and the wife, she could have nicely turned to her husband and said "its okay babe, he is only two, he is cold". The situation could have continued differently. The animosity that the couple displayed for one another could have been non existent and their marriage could have become strengthened. How many times have situations like this happened in our own marriages. Especially for some of us who have been together for ten years, plus? Why do we do this? Why do we do this to the people we love the most and want to spend forever with? On the other hand there was a newlywed couple, no children, who were shopping together, holding hands, deciding on what they were going to make together for dinner. They were so loving, and kind to one another. You could see the love in their eyes and feel the love just by being in the same aisle with them. We have all been there. Do you remember those days? The courting days, the newly married days, no children, just you and your love content with being poor and living on love. Kissing was often, butterflies in your heart every time you saw them or spoke to them on the phone. Just recently I thought to myself how much I miss those days, but then I decided, those days to not need to be missed, they do not need to be in the past. At this point living ten years with bad habits, being enriched a thousand fold for each addition of a new child in our family, growing in knowledge and experience together in a marriage should only make for a stronger bond. I decided, that I wanted to feel the butterflies still and smile when I get a text, an email or a phone call. This is my purpose in this life. I not only wanted to be a wife and mother I wanted to be Nate's wife, and the mother of his children. At this stage in life best friends don't come and go, they are permanent. He is my best friend and I am trying my very best to show him that he is and always will be. Last night we were able to celebrate our TEN YEAR anniversary. Ten years of marriage. We have been through school, child birth, frustrations, cancer, financial struggles, family divorce, family marriages, etc, etc. So many life experiences to make our bond stronger. I love him infinitely more than I did the day I married him and am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for sending him to me. He is an incredible man and I only hope to continue to be more kind and more loving to him as life happens and time goes on. Be the happy couple, forever grateful for one another. Be the stranger who smiles continually, brightening others lives. Be thankful for your life and make it as wonderful as you can. This life is but a little time, make the best of it.

Rambling

I was reminded to day by a dear friend that I have not blogged in a week. It has not been a week, however, four days is still too long to be away from you. It is good in a lot of ways that I have not blogged because that mostly means things are good. Life seems kind of normal at the moment. Today I did lots of laundry. I cannot tell you how nice it is to stay home, not put on any make up not have to get dressed and just clean your house. Being normal feels so nice. Although every chore on my list did not get accomplished today I feel like it was a fulfilling day. Like I said before, lots of laundry was done, a nice dinner was made, lime cilantro garlic shrimp pasta, salad and rolls. I am able to go to bed nicely showered and fingers painted blogging to you all while I listen to a rainstorm or the ocean tide crashing on my iPod. Monday nights in our home are called Family Home Evening. Its a chance to be together as a family, to have little lessons about the Savior, and to plan and organize our home. We have not always been so diligent in following through weekly but we try hard and it has become an important goal in our family for this next year and beyond. Tonight we were able to learn about service and to learn about goals. We set a lot of family goals and went over our biggest priorities in our lives. It is so important now to teach your children how to become, honest, hard working , respectful people, so that they can emulate these traits in adulthood. I love watching my children grow. I love to teach them new things and watch them as they strive to implement these new things into their lives. It is one of the best things about being a parent. We also designated Fridays as our Family Fun Night. It is the night for us to watch movies, make fun dinners, eat popcorn, have treats and stay up late. I hope that they are ever excited for FFN! I am so thankful to be a part of such an incredible family. Each person is so amazing and I am just so lucky to be piece of this extraordinary group.
It is time for me to go to sleep. I have boot camp at 530 in the morning and I am determined to go everyday this week (excluding Friday because of chemo). I have finally pushed through my plateau and am heading towards a 40 lb weight loss since July. I would really like to make it 50 by the end of the year! My muscles are sore tonight from 400 squats and 220 push ups today. I still have a bazillion pictures to blog. I will try my hardest to get those up soon! Thanks for listening to my rambling about my day. I love you all.

Reflections

I am having an emotional moment. I am not quite sure why. It may be because I have been "spring cleaning" and I was going through a lot of beginning of diagnosis papers, and it may be a little because of the easy listening music playing but I have some mixed emotions. I think about how unknown the future was for us 10 months ago TODAY. How scary things were back then. We still have moments of unsurety but with the end close and his health improving it is easier to be optimistic now. I was thinking about all of the hospital moments we have had and all of the friends we have made. We have 3 inpatient days left if he doesn't get sick before the end and it makes me emotional to leave all of the wonderful people there. We are so happy to be done and not have to stay there regularly but these people have changed our lives, they have all saved my son's life in some way or another and it makes me emotional to leave them. Spence got emotional the other day and said he was going to really miss Mike, the child life specialist in oncology. What a journey we have been on. We have gained so many things. I remember a cancer mom telling me when I first began this that I will come out of this a different person.
We are all different. This has changed us all so much. We are branded and even a little scarred but we are better. Our perspectives and priorities have changes and we are happier than we have ever been. Our family bond is strong. This will be the best Christmas of our lives because we have a love for eachother and an appreciation that is better than before.