Monday, September 12, 2011


Have you ever felt wonderfully grateful yet feel bits of sadness lingering near your soul? Last week a woman contacted me via email. She is the aunt of a beautiful 8 year old girl who was just recently diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma. She has tumors in her groin, under her knee, and on her foot. It seems to have metastasized to her lungs. This aunt has been asking me some questions about it all. It seems that the doctors have been vague in their explanations. They do not live in Utah and are not going to PCMC. I have grown an attachment to this sweet little girl that I have never seen or met. My heart has so much sorry for her mother, who is a cancer survivor herself, colon cancer, nonetheless. How terrifying to watch you child bare the pains that you know so well yourself. That to me is pure hell. Talking with this family I feel so grateful. So grateful for our experiences. So grateful for our miracles. So grateful for our hospital. So grateful to all of you and for all of the prayers we have received. This is the first time since our clean bill of health that I have been really able to stand face to face with our experience, without anguish and anxiety. Today is a beautiful overcast, rainy day. The kind of day that brings tranquility to my existence. I have a lot of happiness in my life. I am a changed woman. I will never be who I was before this and I am thankful for our trials and this journey. I feel that it is now my calling in life to be a nurse and to work again with these beautiful children and families. I have so much to offer them. Next to the soon gained skills, I have the compassion, the love and the optimism that these children and families need. It warms my heart to think that I can touch the lives of others in their fight, through life and through death. I love my life.

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