Kiss 'em Hug 'em Love 'em

All around me I hear, "did you hear {so and so} has cancer", or "{this person} died" or something of the likes and it is just too much. I am guessing some of you that read this were friends with Bunny, and I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't know her but I read her story, and I saw pictures of her with her beautiful family and little babies and my heart aches for them. For those of you who didn't know her, she was a beautiful 29 year old mom and wife who was taking a bike ride and was hit by a truck and she died the next day. There are sad stories everyday. Sometimes I wish it could just be "the end of the world" and I can begin living in eternity, happily, perfectly with my family. I just started this new paranoia thing. I swear I look into Gavin's eyes or Belle's eyes and their pupils are different sizes. My heart drops and I think I can't do this again. Of course their pupils are completely normal and symmetrical but it freaks me out. What would I do? My kids and my husband make me so happy. They totally complete me-Tom Cruise did not know what he was talking about. It would be a drab world without them and I am thankful for my faith that continues to give me hope. I have a friend whose nine year old boy has terminal cancer. She posted that is MRI results showed no more growth but his physical symptoms are worsening. What would you do? Your sweet little boy is suffering and his life is slipping through your hands, and it takes all you have to enjoy every last minute with him. My prayers, and my pain, and my tears go out to her. I have done a lot of really hard things in my life but being a mother is the hardest. I am sorry if this all seems so jumbled. I am just having all of these random thoughts. To sum things all up: Life is sad, but I am thankful for great family and kids to make it beautiful. Just a little update, Spencer is doing really well right now. He has to wear his leg braces continuously now, which he DOES NOT like at all. We had to buy new shoes 4 sizes too big to fit over them. It is kind of cute looking, his HUGE feet. His face looks so good and his spirits are so high. I do panic that we are going to wake up and his face will be droopy again, but then I collect myself and remember my hope and thank God for the miracles we have seen thus far. He has a five day clinic chemo starting next Thursday, along with a bone scan that day. The testing is always so nerve racking! I also found out that we don't have to go to clinic all of the days they will let him do the rest of the chemo at home, which is FABULOUS! I hope this really happens. I have the best family. I hope you all feel the same way about your family. Don't forget to hug and kiss your babies (and your husband) everyday and tell them that you love them as many times as you can because you never know what the next minute will bring.