Chemo Schmemo

This week has been pretty good. We have started this out as a "routine" chemo treatment. He usually does really well during his chemo stays. Today is day three out of five. They have been advancing his chemo by two hours everyday so that we can leave here before his birthday. Everyday chemoes are given every 24 hours. Advancing chemo by two hours every day means that he will get it at hour 22 the following day, and then hour 20 the next, and so on for the next four times. He tolerated it well yesterday but today he is beginning to unravel. His head hurts, and he just threw up, which he does not regularly do during chemo treatments. He usually begins to throw up after chemo after we have been home for a couple of days. His pupils are small, and even, and he looks pale. I am hoping that this will go away. Except for the pupil part. I like it when they are even. Maybe he is just having an off day. I want him to be able to enjoy his birthday, if only to feel healthy. Our room is freezing today and he is kicking his blankets and sheets off. His head is clammy and he says he feels hot. His temperature is normal. He tries to do without Ativan as much as he can but today he asked for a half dose. I hope this will help him sleep. He just had a dose of Oxycodone, and thankfully his headache has relinquished. I am counting down the days to our last set of in patient chemoes before our two month break from them . It will help our family to refocus, re-energize, and regain composure until we start again. I was walking down the halls to the University of Utah cafeteria (they have Indian and Thai food there now and again) and I saw "normal" looking kids sitting in waiting rooms of doctor's offices. Normal doctor's offices. I remember dreading sitting in the waiting room at the pediatrician's office with three kids waiting for it to be our turn. Trying to calm Belle and Gavs down, of course Spencer was always being obedient. What I would give for crappy normal moments, just to have them be normal. Just to have life in the right order. This is our right order. Life has never been normal. It makes the blessings brighter, I suppose. It makes me thankful for every little moment, especially the happy ones.