I remember bringing Spencer home from the hospital when he was first born. I would lay on the couch while he slept in his car seat and I would watch him sleep all night. I did not want to miss one breath of this brand new amazement that was mine. (24 days short of) eight years later I feel the same way. I cannot take my eyes off of this miracle, this amazement of mine. He has proven to be so incredible in so many ways in the short eight years of his life. I do not want to miss one breath. Each one is a blessing.
We are lucky to be here to get such great care. My blessing today is chemo. I know that is so oxymoronical but every chemo done is one closer to the end of treatment. Every chemo done is just more weapon for the fight. I am sad because we are stuck on the third floor again, the ICS overflow, away from our comfort zone. The nurses are the same which makes things a little better. There is no parent laundry/kitchen room, no flat screen, and no XBox 360. Those things may seem a shallow reason to want to be on the true ICS unit but it means so much to a little boy who feels "stuck" here. His weight is up, thanks to our continuous feeds, and the nutritionist was impressed with our "Gatorade feeds" to keep him hydrated. He has had his Vincristine and is now getting the Cytoxan, two of which we have previously had. After the Cytoxan will be the Doxorubicin which is new for us. Chemo makes me nervous. As much as I am thankful for its "powers" I get really anxious before and after it is administered for the first time in a session. He is asleep now, due to his anti-emetics and will most likely be for the remainder of our stay here. I already miss his conversation. We had an enjoyable day talking and texting! I was watching a movie on my laptop while he was playing with his iPod Touch and I got a text that said, "I love you mommy". Oh how my heart melts for this kid. I am so lucky to be his mom. I am so lucky to have three beautiful children.
We are lucky to be here to get such great care. My blessing today is chemo. I know that is so oxymoronical but every chemo done is one closer to the end of treatment. Every chemo done is just more weapon for the fight. I am sad because we are stuck on the third floor again, the ICS overflow, away from our comfort zone. The nurses are the same which makes things a little better. There is no parent laundry/kitchen room, no flat screen, and no XBox 360. Those things may seem a shallow reason to want to be on the true ICS unit but it means so much to a little boy who feels "stuck" here. His weight is up, thanks to our continuous feeds, and the nutritionist was impressed with our "Gatorade feeds" to keep him hydrated. He has had his Vincristine and is now getting the Cytoxan, two of which we have previously had. After the Cytoxan will be the Doxorubicin which is new for us. Chemo makes me nervous. As much as I am thankful for its "powers" I get really anxious before and after it is administered for the first time in a session. He is asleep now, due to his anti-emetics and will most likely be for the remainder of our stay here. I already miss his conversation. We had an enjoyable day talking and texting! I was watching a movie on my laptop while he was playing with his iPod Touch and I got a text that said, "I love you mommy". Oh how my heart melts for this kid. I am so lucky to be his mom. I am so lucky to have three beautiful children. 
he looks really good holly!
ReplyDeletei'm saying a prayer right now for you :)
Keep smiling Spencer!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet text to receive from your son!
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting Spencer!
These pictures make him look so much healthier than he has been. I'm so excited to see that. I was thinking about school for him and I'm not sure if he would feel up to doing home school, but there is a great program called K12. I know in the Alpine district will supply everything needed for it because it's cheaper than having the student actually in the scools. You may want to look into it and then maybe Spence could stay in the same grade as his friends and he'll be doing what he loves. Learning. My prayers are with your family.
ReplyDeleteHe looks so much better. I hope everything goes well with the new chemo. He is such a sweet boy. You are so lucky to have him. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHOlly you amaze me. Write a book. You are a great writer. Love you.
ReplyDeleteWe love visiting your blog. You guys are so amazing! Your faith is such an example Holly and the strength that Spence has is amazing! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We're thinking of you guys and praying for continued strength and comfort!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to say what an amazing family you are. I happened to stop by at Chick Fil A when you did your fundraiser and found out about Spencer. You're blog is amazing and gives us all hope and faith in our Heavenly Father. Our thoughts and prayers are always with you and your family. Seeing the strength of Spencer gives me hope that I can always make it through anything. If I ever feel that I am having a bad day I read your blog and all my negative feelings go away. Our prayers are always with you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for helping me count my blessings. I count you as one of them. We have never met but each day I read your posts and think God is great. We may have trials and tribulations in life, but he opens the doors for us to see the blessings around us. You have the ability to do this. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
ReplyDelete