Grandpa

DISCLAIMER* THIS POST IS VERY PERSONAL, SPIRITUAL AND RELIGIOUS. IF ANY OF THESE THINGS MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE DO NOT READ

My grandpa was my very best friend on this earth. He was happy, and kind and he gave the very best hugs and kisses. He protected me and loved me and I did not have a better person in my life. When he was diagnosed with malignant melanoma about five years ago, his health changed drastically. He was quickly deteriorating, and began to not even know who I was, and who the people around him who loved him were. His melanoma had metastasized to his brain. This diagnosis was made the same week as Christmas and he passed away that January 11th. It did not take long. The whole family came that Christmas and we all got to spend one last holiday with him. I feel lucky to have been able to spend some of his last moments with him. He had been under hospice home care in a coma the last few days of his life. I was able to sit with him one night while he was in between worlds. He was not to aware of this life but was conversing with family who had already passed. As I left him, the last night I would see him alive, I hugged him. Although seemingly unaware of this world his hand tightened on my back and he whispered ever so quietly that he loved me. I am so blessed to have had this experience. After his passing, many family members have had visits by him, dreams, and so forth. I had always been disappointed that I never even had a dream. My cousin who passed away from a brain tumor had many visits by him. He knew it was his time to go. I have to say that through this experience with Spencer I have been relieved to not have had any visits! Last night was the first dream. In the dream I was at a friends house. She had a long, huge basement. I walked down with Gavin in my arms and saw both my grandma, who is still living, and my grandpa sitting at a card table playing Go Fish. I walked passed them thinking this was a normal picture until I realized it was really Grandpa. As I was running to him he said "be careful, I go through things" like a ghost would. He was showing me that he really was not alive. I approached him anyway and gave him a hug. As I touched him he became a physical person. I could feel his warmth and his strength. It was a long time missed, good old grandpa hug. A hug that I have needed and longed for over the past six months. I looked at him and said "but grandpa, I thought that you would go right through me?" and he replied "it was a blessing and a promise I was given when I was a Stake President, that if I upheld my position righteously, I would have the opportunity to do this". The next second I was awake. It was about 3:50 a.m. I was so happy for the first few moments and then a little freaked out. Why was he visiting me? Spencer's health is improving, what does this mean, his visit? I then just had a feeling that I had visited him. He was peacefully playing his card game with my grandma and I approached him. I needed this hug. I needed to see him and feel him again. I am overcome with emotion and thankful for this experience. I am thankful for the experiences with Spencer to bring me closer to my Heavenly Father and to be able to feel the powers of heaven open up onto our family. I love you grandpa. I miss you so much.